Posts by out of the box

38

My story of abuse and disappointment.

by ackack in

i was raised in as a jw, and got batpz at 16. i started pioneer at 18 and got married when i was 21. i was made an ms at 22, and was soon giving many parts.. my brother who was also a pioneer, eventually stopped, even stopped going to meetings.

he placed a doubt in my mind about 607. he simply told me to look at the kingdom come book appendix.. i looked at the material and was ablt to rationalize it in my mind as secular vs. biblical chronology (which is a gross oversimplification).

as well, i knew some things being done within the orginization didn't sit very well with me.

out of the box

aakack,

If you have lived apart for a year, you can go ahead and get the divorce. You do not need anyone's permission or witness to this fact, just do it. Irreconsilable differences may have to be noted, who cares, you will be financially free of this woman.

If you hesitate, or sit back and let 'her' call the shots, you are still being a victim. An abuser can turn normal and nice when it comes time to getting a divorce. Watch the personality switch back to b__ch once it is done. Stay separate from her and her ideas, and suggestions they are traps. Continue on your QUEST for FREEDOM. only YOU can make sure it happens!

Why are you worried about the elders' charges? Who cares if you are out of there? Something is not right if you are worried about that. You can't hold on to that cord to the JWs. It is not your road to freedom. The road to FREEDOM does not involve your wife nor the elders! It seems lonely to go it alone, but the only way. It is their brainwashing that has led you to think you won't have any life outside their grasp, but that is not true. As soon as you stand alone, you will have more than you had being with the JWs!!!

out of the box

15

Its gone so fast!

by PaulJ in

just wanted to post this topic as it is my 1000th post!!!!

i joined here very very 'green' just over 3 months ago.

my first thread shows how clueless i was- http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/90818/1.ashx.

out of the box

PaulJ,

Congrats for still being here and not quieting your hunger for truth! You have kept up your search for a better life and a happier one. I have been out of the JW a long time now. Some of the decipline training stays with you because it was so intense. One of the things that stays with you is reading about the truth. Only NOW it is a different truth, it is one you are allowed to research all you want and talk about all you want. And... you can GROW from what you discover. No longer are you stuck as one elder told me once "you can only move ahead as fast as the slowest of us in the cong." No more LIMBO!

out of the box

38

My story of abuse and disappointment.

by ackack in

i was raised in as a jw, and got batpz at 16. i started pioneer at 18 and got married when i was 21. i was made an ms at 22, and was soon giving many parts.. my brother who was also a pioneer, eventually stopped, even stopped going to meetings.

he placed a doubt in my mind about 607. he simply told me to look at the kingdom come book appendix.. i looked at the material and was ablt to rationalize it in my mind as secular vs. biblical chronology (which is a gross oversimplification).

as well, i knew some things being done within the orginization didn't sit very well with me.

out of the box

ackack,

I am so sorry you lived through all that! I KNOW how abusive women can be. My mother was one! She was NOT a JW, but would get my dad drunk and then beat him up. I saw her hit him on the head with a frying pan!!! Never mind what she did to me.

The one thing is to LEARN how NOT to be a victim anymore. I went to Al-Anon for all the FREE advice and listened to others getting taken in by lies and what they went through. It really helped me stand up for myself! It is great (and free) de-progaming advice told at those meetings!

out of the box

14

She Cut My Radishes Into Roses!

by Swan in

sorry for not posting much lately, but i have been doing really well with the old jw issues until now.. i am in tears tonight because of a memory i had of my childhood.

i used to open up my lunch-box at school and find my mother had sliced my radishes to look like rose petals.

wasn't that a really loving thing to do?

out of the box

swan,

There will always be things from the past that will creep up on you. For example, when I open a can of beans sometimes I cry. Not every can, but once in a while I will be taken back to the time I was starving and my mother would go to the market and come home with food. I would grab a can of beans, open it and devour it! We were poor at the time and we lived on very little, crackers and peanut butter sometimes for days before she could shop for food. I cry for that hungry little girl inside.

Go to her, be mother and daughter while she still knows you. Peace can only come this way between you two. You will feel so much better for the rest of your life that you made the effort while there was still time!

out of the box

36

Anybody from Waltham or Newton Massachusetts?

by out of the box in

i wanted to know if anyone was from that area or lived there..

out of the box

apostinator's wife:

Hi everyone I'm apostanator's wife---WOW a big blast from the past on this thread!!! ; My very first meeting before my total indoctrination into JW land was at the waltham, ma congregation of JW's. ; I remember Alan Montapoli and his wife and daughter, David and Marie Abboud (he was the biggest man I ever saw in person) and their daughter, Sharon Shields, the Rao's, Ellen Crowe (she reminded me of nancy drew if I'm remembering this all correctly, the blind guy (i forgot his name) and his wife who committed suicide and many more whose names escape me.

David Abboud was a very big man. He is the MS I went out in service with that had a gun pulled on him. I could tell you how he got Marie to marry him if you want to know! He was a former 'druggie' and all around bad guy before becoming a JW. Ellen Crowe was a pretty thin girl who wore backless skimpy dresses to JW events. She was engaged to Gerard Pelletier when she became a JW. They broke up and he went on to Bethel. The blind guy, yes he married a sister with two boys. Is she the one who commited suicide, or the one before her? They had bought a house in Waltham from Adrian Mooney (I think her name was) and he fixed it up (even though he was blind) and they could not hold on to it and sold it a year or so later.

out of the box

36

Anybody from Waltham or Newton Massachusetts?

by out of the box in

i wanted to know if anyone was from that area or lived there..

out of the box

I really LOVE all these stories! It wasn't just ME who saw these things!!! And THEY had the nerve to make lil ole ME feel bad?????? I didn't know about the glass eye... no wonder I felt weird when he looked at me!

Anyway, how about these names?

Jim Tripani, David Abboud, Jim Monroe, Mastriani, Washburn, Yeradi, Mark & Dorcus Sherman, Gerard Pelletier, Ellen Crowe... well that is all I can think of ritght now from the Waltham/Newton cong. from back then.

out of the box

23

Share a Story...

by misspeaches in

i really enjoy reading the stories/experiences you guys all post on here from your jdub days..... the funny, ridiculous, ironic ones make me laugh but reinforce in my mind that i've done the right thing by leaving that organisation.. the hurtful, sad, mean ones make me hurt as well but again - reinforce in my mind that i've done the right thing by leaving that organisation.. the scandals that go on - well same again - they reinforce in my mind that i've done the right thing by leaving that organisation.. i do appreciate the time you all take in writing down your stories and will never tire of reading them.

so if you have a story you haven't relayed here before because it is didn't seem relevant to a thread i would love to read it!.

cheers - miss peaches

out of the box

I read some of the stories here and they are changing my mood, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I did not start this thread, but it sure is encouraging me this morning! Since I have started posting here, a short time, I have gone through so many emotions about that 9 years I spent being a JW. But, when I read all your posts, IT DOES MAKE IT ALL BETTER! I mean it, it is REALLY HELPING ME! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU all for posting your stories! It makes me feel less alone, less odd, and less unique in my past suffering!

misspeaches:

Its incredible isn't it. There are just so many incredible stories they just appear to be neverending at times. I find myself recalling a story I had long forgotten about and feeling shocked that I accepted certain things as normal. You go through all the range of emotions everytime one is recalled.

Thank you for that reply! What is amazing is that we are all the 'same' as far as the memories and the experiences!!! I had NO IDEA at the time. As a JW you are part of an org. but alone at the same time! It is this dis-jointed life that keeps you in with them because you think you will figure it all out, after all you are smart and you are a 'thinking' person! But, there is no time to think, there is NO TIME TO REASON! Only when you take a break, leave, that you SEE and come back to life! How could 9 years of my life been taken by such an experience as being a JW? Wow, I scare myself when I say those words!!!

LouBelle

As with being defd along comes the shunning from everyone that is a witness, family, friends you've know since birth.....You leave feeling like you've lost the world but you know what after that initial downer..... how do I describe it.... I feel like a blind man that has received sight for the first time, and is looking up at a huge rainbow, seeing the 7 different colours, the joy is so much one cannot put it down in words

I can't even imagine what it would be like not to 'return' to a normal life, but to go to a NEW life after being brought up in the borg!!!! I admire your courage and strength! You made it DESPITE the oppression you grew up with! My hats off to you!

misanthropic:

But then my husband took me to Starbucks for an iced coffee and all was well again!

Loved that statement! That is so UPBEAT! The deep pain we feel is the way THEY act. It's like we never knew that 'stuff' was inside them to do!

out of the box just tried to fix the weird formatting. The highlighting is messed up.

36

Anybody from Waltham or Newton Massachusetts?

by out of the box in

i wanted to know if anyone was from that area or lived there..

out of the box

minimus:

Thank you for your honesty in posting about those people. I saw lots and couldn't say anything. But now, I can say they wrote their own ticket. They thought they were royalty!

out of the box

5

Conditional Love/Heart Reading

by Garnet in

i had a conversation the other day with a relative - we started talking about death and so on, so forth.

i havent been attending for almost 3 years now and really havent been harrassed too much - just ignored.. i stopped attending meetings for a number of reasons, a few were belief differences which i knew would become trouble, but the main reason why i couldnt attend anymore is i felt fake.

but i felt that people only wanted to associate with me because we shared one thing and one thing only....a belief.

out of the box

Garnet,

Take a break and just let it go. We cannot change them. We can only wait till they WAKE UP like you DID!

out of the box

36

Anybody from Waltham or Newton Massachusetts?

by out of the box in

i wanted to know if anyone was from that area or lived there..

out of the box

coffee_black:

Thanks for your quick reply! I had written a few stories about the cong. I left. That was the congregation I had belonged to for about 7 years, left and came back. Allan Montopoli was good to me, he gave me money once, he said it was from the cong. but I think it was his personal money. I did not ask for it, he showed up with it.

But, he was also the brother who's wife had black eyes all the time. Rumor (later on I heard) he did those. She always was quiet, sat alone with her child, and left without talking much. I think they came in separate cars. She told people she had allergies.

The Amway story I told, where the elder held a meeting at someone's home (same bible study group for Tuesday meeting held at the same house) that turned out to be an Amway meeting! I spoke up and Allan told me I had a big mouth! I left anyway. Another time I thought about moving in with this older sister who needed help and had asked me to live with her. Alan told me I was too attractive to move in where her (very young) nephew also lived and it wouldn't work, so forget it (she was NO relative of his)!!! Oh well. Can't be perfect all the time! I can't say that the Montopolis didn't do a lot for others, they had the money to do so and shared some!

out of the box